Smiling with a heavy heart...

Walking through the door,
I enter a whole new world;
A world with a different view,
A world with different people...

In the past, experiencing horror,
I hoped that this new world would just be different;
Sadly that will never be the case,
For this world is exactly like the other.

I think I have a magnet in me,
A magnet that attracts people;
But not just anyone,
I attract certain kind of people.

In school,
In dance;
In National Service,
And now my new world.

WHY OH WHY!!!!
WHY DO I ATTRACT THEM!!!
If I accidently say something they say another,
They make it look like I'm the bad guy.

I choose to be neutral,
I didn't want to be on either side;
But people mistake me and guess what,
I JUST TURN OUT TO BE THE BAD GUY AGAIN!!!

What do you want me to do,
Butter up both sides???!!!
Boths sides has pros and cons,
And you expect me to choose based on these??!!!

There's a song that says,
We can never get the best out of 2 worlds;
We can only choose 1!!
And I choose neither!!!

I'll stick to 'my world',
The world I created long ago in my mind;
The world where nothing is impossible,
The world that I wish I could live in.

Because this stupid magnet in me,
This magnet makes people misunderstand me!
Makes people hate me even when it is others that misunderstood me!!
WHEN IT IS NOT MY FREAKING FAULT!!!

So I'll live in this world for now,
Bottling up as I go along;
Smiling at YOU with a heavy heart,
Smiling just to act like I'm not hurt.

Acting stupid is the stupidest thing to do,
But there is nothing else I can do but 'smile',
I hope one day...one day...
You will see that it is not my fault.....I choose to be neutral........

Even though YOU broke my heart......


* A poem bout part of my life... exaggerated the anger maybe a widdle iddle bit but yet... ^^ *

:+:Su_mEi:+:

Fears of our weaknesses....

"SOME ( not all ) humans that live in the darkness of their weakness tend to remain there due to their lack of confidence or ignorance about how terrible their current situation is. However, when a supporting hand reaches out to them, trying to knock sense into them and pull them into light they just retreat back into their dark cave. They remain stubborn!!They think that remainding in darkness would not affect their future! WRONG!!! People, if we continue to think this way, then we will never master our weaknesses. We will NEVER come out and see the light! And when the future comes, I assure you, you will regret not taking up the challenge in the past to master your weaknesses. SO STEP UP!! Take up the challenge to master every weakness you can possibly master and you will not regret doing so."

I decided to start my bloggie again after such a long time~ ^^ and I just started it with a post I posted on facebook just a moment ago. It is about a serious matter that has just struck me hard and I thought I should give my opinions on it.

Weaknesses. Who doesn't have them? If you don't then 'WOW!!', you're probably the 1st perfect human to walk on Earth after Jesus. EVERYBODY has weaknesses, whether they know it or not. Being afraid of something is a weakness. Being unable to do something is a weakness. Being unable to perform something well is a weakness. And many more...

It is not the fact that we have weaknesses that struck me but how we react to it. We react to our strengths by showing them off and improving them. We tell people about our strengths but not our weaknesses. We try to forget about our weaknesses. We shun them. We ignore them. Or we just don't try hard to master them.

WHY??!! Why do we work so hard on our strengths yet don't even spend time to put extra effort to improve ( i not even saying master ) our weaknesses?? For example, if I am bad at writing, and when my teachers try to help me, I stay stubborn as a donkey and curse the teacher instead. Tell me, how will I ever improve in writing? If you tell me that just by ignoring the teacher I will improve then I don't see the reason for teachers to exist. Why do we not appreciate the help provided to us to help us improve in our weaknesses? These helpers ( whether teachers, friends, family..etc ) do not expect you to repay them at all. Free service. And who does not like free service? Why do we shun these people away... the people that are just trying their very best to knock sense into our thick skulls that weaknesses is not something negative.

WEAKNESSES is something we need and is something I would consider positve. If everyone was good at everything, then what is the point in life? We study to gain knowlege cause we don't own enough knowledge. We practice our sports cause we can never be 100% good in it. Everything we do in life is because of our weaknesses. Fine, a simple one. We cook or buy food because we are unable to produce food ourselves. Unless you rather starve than to take a little effort to get food.

If you can put effort into getting food for yourselves, or walking to the toilet just to pass motion, then why can't you use the same effort to improve your other weaknesses. Like lack in confidence, lack in certain skills, or lack in your personality too. It doesn't take much to work on our weaknesses. It takes only a heart with will to produce the desire and energy and enthusiasm to work on our weaknesses. If you lack in confidence, but have a strong will to be more confident, believe me, just the will in your heart can make a little difference but then again practice is needed. Nothing comes free. We don't get free oxygen too you know. We pay the trees for producing oxygen for us by giving them carbon dioxide.

The only thing I know that comes free, is the help and heart and love from the people around us. They are always there supporting you. Not judging you for how you look, or your background but who you are. Who God created you to be. These people are the ones who will give you a bonus boost to one day master your weaknesses. Your strength may be their weakness in return. So vice versa you can now help them in return for them helping you.

"SO STEP UP!! Take up the challenge to master every weakness you can possibly master and you will not regret doing so." Remember, a glass may be half empty, yet half full. How will you choose to see your weaknesses? How will you deal with them? Think before you answer.

:+:Su_mEi:+:

Deng deng deng DENG!!

Da 1st Day of UNICOL life!!!

( unicol stands more University College...sounds more pro than college maaaaa )

Got up today at an unbeliveble time... sigh... ok.. a very normal time for people to get up but not for me!! I HAVE and HAD enough of getting up early... for 3 months I had to get up at 4.30 in the morning everyday!! sickening right...so well, I had to get up and bla bla bla and left the house and bla bla bla and ate breakfast with my dad at bangsar... @_@ I knew I should not have ordered milo and eat porridge.. too filling and I soon felt sick...@_@...

My dad droped me at Brickfields where I took a monorail all the way Imbi which is right outside Berjaya Times Square so well, just outside my collge la! Went up to 11th floor, waiting for people to gather then we registered and took our student ID card... my picture is soooo ugly... they stretched the picture so my head is now long horizontally...MAGNIFICIENT I know.. i know.. Then I went to make payment of my semester fees, and lined up to get my bag and order my shirt... sorry no pictures... They has Pink, Blue, Gree ( with pink designs ) and Orange... so I took green since it is more unique than pink and blue and nicer than orange ^^

Next was to the lecture hall, where they spoke and introduced the lecturers and we had tea break ( Kenny Roggers sponsored free MUFFINS!! ) then we broke into groups and I am in Uruguey ^^ played some ice breaking games like the Ha Ha game ( will teach you next time.. quite boring and weird ), One Dot game and murderer... Lunch, I went with a group of girls to the food court, ate chicken rice and drank yougurt drink and went up and we had another game that needs us to run throughout the whole college on the 11th and 14th floor... was quite fun though my captain was well... quite lazy person so I was doing most of the job...We at least got RM 10 voucher for borders ^^

The fun part comes now... We were suppose to take an english test to see if we needed to take part in an extra english program... they called out a few peoples' names and mine was in the list..shocking I know... we were brought to a room with a few and I mean FEW chairs and table and alot of floor space... We were then told...." YOU ALL ARE EXEMPTED FROM TAKING THE ENGLISH TEST FOR YOU HAVE SHOWED GOOD RESULTS IN YOUR ENGLISH EXAMINATION IN WHATEVER LEVEL!!! WHOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

OH YEAH OH YEAH!! So I got to go home like 2 and a half hours earlier!! ENGLISH! I LOVE YOU!! MUAAAXXXX!!!!!!

:+:Su_mEi:+:

LAMANIN!!!!!

What on earth is Lamanin? Lamanin, L-a-m-a-n-i-n very simply, is a protein cell in your body that literally holds your skin, muscles, organs, and everything else in your body together, it is literally the glue of your body. Now you're thinking, so? What does that have do with how fearfully and wonderfully I am made? The incredible thing about this protein cell is the fact that it is shaped like a cross. Yes, it's true, the protein cell that holds you together is in the shape of a cross. God made you fearfully, you didn't come from some ape, God planned you carefully, and holds you together with the cross shaped protein, Lamanin!!

Amazing right... This was preached during youth using a video sermon on How Great is Our God!! I was just left speechless after it.... To imagine that this protein cell is the cell that holds every single itsy bitsy part of our body together... and it is shaped in the shape of the cross on which our Lord our God was crucified on.... i have no words....

:+:Su_mEi:+:

Countdown!!!

3 more days till I stop work!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!! Well, at least work was not so boring as the last few weeks~~ Got to do some sorting of books unlike the usual job of SITTING AT THE SHRINK WRAP MACHINES!!! Thank God for the magazine people who had to use the machines after my break!! *in heaven*

Hoping to be able to have private latin class on Thursday... and the following week I will go to Taiping for a 2 day trip to bring my grandma down... WHEEEEEEEE~~~~~ XD

CAN"T WAIT AT ALL!!!

HAPPY EASTER EVERYBODY!!!