The paths I've walked...for a purpose

Ever 'studied' something for years and then just quit cause you 'hated' it, only to end up regretting your decision?

Ever fought with your really close friend and end up not talking for like years?

Ever been back-stabbed by people just so that they can climb over you to get something they want?

Ever been hated by people when all you're doing is for their own good?

Ever told someone the truth about what others think about them only to have them hate you?

Ever wished that you had told them how you feel rather than keeping it in?

Ever watched the one you love from afar... never going near?

Ever break up a relationship so that your precious person can find their own happiness?

Ever wished that you had done something different that would have changed the current present situation?

Ever said something that you could never take back?

etc... etc... etc...

I have... I quit ballet and music only to regret it... I fought with my close friend and until now we hardly talk ( not a word for 3 years)... People have spoken so badly of me in front of a superior so as to get something from me that they want so desperately... I've been hated by a whole group of people when all I was doing was helping them stay away from punishment...I have told numerous people the truth about what others are saying only to have them take it so negatively... I have regretted not expressing my true feelings... I've watched the one I treasured continue on with life... I've allowed him to find his own happiness... I've done so many things I wish I could just change... I've said too many things that I could not take back...

BUT IN ALL THESE REGRETS... I live only to find out that I actually do not regret them....

I've gone through so many experiences with a purpose... 

Yes... A PURPOSE...

That I may understand those that go through them... that I may be a source of strength and an example to others stating that these things should NEVER EVER PULL A PERSON DOWN!! The are the bones that have been broken for us to learn from... We only have so many bones that we can break... That's why we have to learn from others.. And I'm proud and SO SHOULD YOU that mine and your broken bones can be examples for others to learn from... Save their bones for other experiences...

NEVER GO ON WITH LIFE WITH REGRET! Look back and see what you have learnt from these experiences...believe me.. you will be amazed at how these painful experiences have allowed you to GROW...

Smiling with a heavy heart...

Walking through the door,
I enter a whole new world;
A world with a different view,
A world with different people...

In the past, experiencing horror,
I hoped that this new world would just be different;
Sadly that will never be the case,
For this world is exactly like the other.

I think I have a magnet in me,
A magnet that attracts people;
But not just anyone,
I attract certain kind of people.

In school,
In dance;
In National Service,
And now my new world.

WHY OH WHY!!!!
WHY DO I ATTRACT THEM!!!
If I accidently say something they say another,
They make it look like I'm the bad guy.

I choose to be neutral,
I didn't want to be on either side;
But people mistake me and guess what,
I JUST TURN OUT TO BE THE BAD GUY AGAIN!!!

What do you want me to do,
Butter up both sides???!!!
Boths sides has pros and cons,
And you expect me to choose based on these??!!!

There's a song that says,
We can never get the best out of 2 worlds;
We can only choose 1!!
And I choose neither!!!

I'll stick to 'my world',
The world I created long ago in my mind;
The world where nothing is impossible,
The world that I wish I could live in.

Because this stupid magnet in me,
This magnet makes people misunderstand me!
Makes people hate me even when it is others that misunderstood me!!
WHEN IT IS NOT MY FREAKING FAULT!!!

So I'll live in this world for now,
Bottling up as I go along;
Smiling at YOU with a heavy heart,
Smiling just to act like I'm not hurt.

Acting stupid is the stupidest thing to do,
But there is nothing else I can do but 'smile',
I hope one day...one day...
You will see that it is not my fault.....I choose to be neutral........

Even though YOU broke my heart......


* A poem bout part of my life... exaggerated the anger maybe a widdle iddle bit but yet... ^^ *

:+:Su_mEi:+:

Fears of our weaknesses....

"SOME ( not all ) humans that live in the darkness of their weakness tend to remain there due to their lack of confidence or ignorance about how terrible their current situation is. However, when a supporting hand reaches out to them, trying to knock sense into them and pull them into light they just retreat back into their dark cave. They remain stubborn!!They think that remainding in darkness would not affect their future! WRONG!!! People, if we continue to think this way, then we will never master our weaknesses. We will NEVER come out and see the light! And when the future comes, I assure you, you will regret not taking up the challenge in the past to master your weaknesses. SO STEP UP!! Take up the challenge to master every weakness you can possibly master and you will not regret doing so."

I decided to start my bloggie again after such a long time~ ^^ and I just started it with a post I posted on facebook just a moment ago. It is about a serious matter that has just struck me hard and I thought I should give my opinions on it.

Weaknesses. Who doesn't have them? If you don't then 'WOW!!', you're probably the 1st perfect human to walk on Earth after Jesus. EVERYBODY has weaknesses, whether they know it or not. Being afraid of something is a weakness. Being unable to do something is a weakness. Being unable to perform something well is a weakness. And many more...

It is not the fact that we have weaknesses that struck me but how we react to it. We react to our strengths by showing them off and improving them. We tell people about our strengths but not our weaknesses. We try to forget about our weaknesses. We shun them. We ignore them. Or we just don't try hard to master them.

WHY??!! Why do we work so hard on our strengths yet don't even spend time to put extra effort to improve ( i not even saying master ) our weaknesses?? For example, if I am bad at writing, and when my teachers try to help me, I stay stubborn as a donkey and curse the teacher instead. Tell me, how will I ever improve in writing? If you tell me that just by ignoring the teacher I will improve then I don't see the reason for teachers to exist. Why do we not appreciate the help provided to us to help us improve in our weaknesses? These helpers ( whether teachers, friends, family..etc ) do not expect you to repay them at all. Free service. And who does not like free service? Why do we shun these people away... the people that are just trying their very best to knock sense into our thick skulls that weaknesses is not something negative.

WEAKNESSES is something we need and is something I would consider positve. If everyone was good at everything, then what is the point in life? We study to gain knowlege cause we don't own enough knowledge. We practice our sports cause we can never be 100% good in it. Everything we do in life is because of our weaknesses. Fine, a simple one. We cook or buy food because we are unable to produce food ourselves. Unless you rather starve than to take a little effort to get food.

If you can put effort into getting food for yourselves, or walking to the toilet just to pass motion, then why can't you use the same effort to improve your other weaknesses. Like lack in confidence, lack in certain skills, or lack in your personality too. It doesn't take much to work on our weaknesses. It takes only a heart with will to produce the desire and energy and enthusiasm to work on our weaknesses. If you lack in confidence, but have a strong will to be more confident, believe me, just the will in your heart can make a little difference but then again practice is needed. Nothing comes free. We don't get free oxygen too you know. We pay the trees for producing oxygen for us by giving them carbon dioxide.

The only thing I know that comes free, is the help and heart and love from the people around us. They are always there supporting you. Not judging you for how you look, or your background but who you are. Who God created you to be. These people are the ones who will give you a bonus boost to one day master your weaknesses. Your strength may be their weakness in return. So vice versa you can now help them in return for them helping you.

"SO STEP UP!! Take up the challenge to master every weakness you can possibly master and you will not regret doing so." Remember, a glass may be half empty, yet half full. How will you choose to see your weaknesses? How will you deal with them? Think before you answer.

:+:Su_mEi:+:

A lil trip to my future???

( This may be a little trip but it hold a lot so it may be long.. but I assure you, you will not be bored )

YEAPS!! I went on a little trip today with my sister and mum to my future perhaps... or to be more precise a trip to where I maybe in the future ( college or more like university life ). Got up at bout 10 in the morning which is really nice since I get up bout 9.30 everyday... 1/2 an hour makes a BIG DIFFERENCE OK!! I just hate getting up in the morning...@_@... My mum had breakfast while my sis and I did not cause well... she just didn't buy any breakfast for us.. how nice right ^^...=.=... so got ready, bla bla bla, and bla bla bla and VRROOOMMM!! Off we go...................................................................................

Reached!!! Now.... Parking??? @_@ round round round the car park, driving while looking out, for a miserable parking lot, also cannot find HAIH!! ( row row row your boat tune please )... HALLELUJAH!!! PRAISE THE LORD FOR HIS MERCIES AND BLESSINGS UPON US!! Yeaps! we found a parking spot not too far from the escalators~~ Hmmmm ( staring at the floor directory )..

Mummy : Hmmm... mana ini college ah??

Everybody stare at the board...

Mei : 14th floor.

Vian : No la... 14 floor but section F...

Clicks on lift button...

Mei : ( stares at the board ) No laaaa... 14F means 14th floor la... the others also ma put 1F, 2F and others  ma... Oh...got girlfriend floor wan oh... GF floor wo... ooolala~~

DING...and up we go...

We stopped at almost every floor and we started at B2 so.. you can probably guess how long it took for us to get up there... And when we reached there... WAKAKAKA...T.T... the office was on the 11th floor...the 14th floor only had classrooms...down we go..T.T...

FINALLY we found the 'lobby' and met our speaker..erm..wait..wrong word...errr..the person that tells us all the stuff ok...Her name is Teh Ming Ming... reminds me of Nicole Tan from dance ^^...she told us bout how the this university started and other information bout the courses... OHH!! OMG!! I just remembered... I forgot to mention we are at Berjaya University =P...sorry my bad =D.... Mummy kept on asking questions which is not a bad thing at all unless you have 2 hungry daughters who are dying to eat... oh and the place is seriously like a hotel...it looks like a hotel, smells like one, sounds like one, has a feeling like one and well, i don't think I can taste a hotel but you get the idea...and it is cold too...VERY COLD!!!

After all the talking ( I loved the pattern painted on Ming Ming's nails...HEY! I was listening to what she said ok! ) she brought us on a little tour~ WHEEE!! The first placed I recognise was the Library... I don't know why but I just feel like reading all the books in there... Maybe it is a disease I caught while working in a book shop...oh well... from there she showed us the classrooms ( most classes I see have only 8 students at most! one classroom can fit max of 30 students ), meeting rooms ( for the events ppl to learn how to hold meetings ), ICT Labs, and a few more. The off to the tourism section which is more or less the same... the Cullinary side is on the 14th floor... and ooohh..the SMELL!!...the lady then poped the question... " Have you eaten lunch? " which by then my sister was having a headache and was more like a zombie walking around...

She asked us to have lunch there.. Yes... People from the cullinary side will serve lunch at the cafes there everyday ( today they are having final exams ) so we eat the food they cook. People from the hotel and corporates also go there to eat but mind you... it is fine dining for today... Let me introduce the menu for today sir/madame...

Bread and butter!! Not sure what the bread is called but DELICIOUS!! EXTREAMLY!!!

My Rockets Salad? Well, after I ate it at least... here is the description...

Thinly sliced pears and rocket lettuce, drizzled with sweet balsamic dressing, topped with parmesan cheese and toasted pine-nuts.... It is SCRUMPTIONS...for salad lovers ( NOT ME!! )

Chicken Involtini Au Vin Blanc

phew.. long name...ok..Succulent chicken rolled with dried appricots, flat parsley and bacon served on a bed of ratatouillie, accompanied with parsley potatoes and white wine sauce.... filling dish..ALL MEAT ON THE CHICKEN!

Finally dessert!! Citrus cheesecake...

Refreshing and delectable cheese cake, infused with orange, lime and ( something i can't read on the picture )served with citrus ( something something something ) and with chocolate butterfly.

Real nice if the serving was no so big... a bit jelak after eating too much...=P...

The rest of the day was just discussing the fees, buying a pair or jeans and slippers and going home in A BAD JAM!! Well, bad for my mum cuz well, she can't sleep while driving right?? ^^

OH OH!! And How to train your dragon is a GREAT SHOW!! The dragons are soooo cute...aaahhh.. I love dragons and dragonflies...aaaaaa ^^...

:+:Su_mEi:+:

p.s. This post was meant to be on the 31st of March but due to internet disconnection, the post is posted on the 1st of April...

1st January of 2010!!

Blessed New Year EVERYBODY!!!

May this year be a fruitful one!!

With the abundance of blessings from the Lord Almighty!!

May His hand guide us as we walk this rocky path of Life!!

May His angels protect us from all evil doings!!

May His grace fall upon us as we live our daily lives!!

May the fruits of the Spirit continue to grow in us!!

May we be salt and light to our people!!

May we honour, work and serve based on the 10 commandments!!

May we move towards the dream of a TRANSFORMED SOCIETY!!

Only 2 more days before I depart to Kuala Kubu Bharu for National Service! Excited but not excited.. ^^ quite neutral ^^ I will try to update my blog there... Maybe I can go to CyberCafe after church on Sundays when they bring us to town~ If not then you will hear from me when I come back on Chinese New Year!!

Last but not least...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHOON WEI!!!!

May the Lord have wonderous plans for you this year!!

May it be a successful one as you step into college life!!

May He shower blessings upon every inch of your life~

May He guide you as you walk step by step into adulthood!!

Hope becoming a year older made you a year wiser! ^^ hehe ^^

BLESSED BIRTHDAY CHOON WEI!!

Huggies

:+:Su_mEi:+:

The Flow of Life~~~

We all know how a tree moves,
It sways to the right, and it sways to the left;
Sometimes it just stands tall.

Life has its own flow too,
Sometimes we may be happy,
Sometimes we may be sad,
Angry, depressed, stressed up also,
Jovial, crazy, nutty at times;
Sometimes we may be still,
When no emotion comes aloud.

When a tree comes to age,
It is then chopped down,
And it is then its life ends.

It is the same for us,
Once we reach old age,
We start to 'malfunction',
Our lives then fade away,
Everything then goes blank.

But where there is death,
There is life.
A new born replaces the gone.
This is the flow of life,
Not for humans, nor for plants;
But for everything created by Him.
~ Su Mei


Life can be very similar to the things around us. We always say, animals don't have stress or plants too. But if we think about it, animals and plants also have lots of stress like we do. Animals have to hunt for food or they are always being hunted. Plants have to fight with each other to get enough sufficient minerals and water. Humans... need I say??? We have many many more similarities to these things... just open your eyes and you can see them.

:+: Su Mei :+: