Sitting at the corner alone,
With my feelings still unknown;
Children running all around,
While chains and locks I do they bound.
Laughter and giggles can I hear,
With nobody anywhere near;
How I wish to laugh along,
But I am left to sing alone a song.
Only colours and papers to be with me,
Where I can pour out my feelings you can't see;
Moody and unsociable I am you think,
But a fact in your head does not sink.
Envy and jealousy is my game,
But anger and unsociability is my fame;
To be understood is what I wish,
But it is like bare hands catching a fish.
We did not have A, B, C,
To choose our lives you see;
This is how we autistic feel,
With our feelings within a seal. ~ Su Mei
Hey, don't get the wrong idea here. I am so not autistic. I just decided to try out if i can write in another person's point of view that not many can see. The first stanza tells us about how autistic people or to be more specific autistic kids feel. They sometimes feel that they are bound to walls with chains and locks so tightly that there is no way to break free. The chains and locks represent the difficulty in expressing. The second stanza is very closely connected to this as the persona sees and hears people laughing and giggling. However, because he is bound by his difficulty in expressing he can't show any sign of laughter. It is as though you want to run to the other wall on the opposite side but because you are chained to the wall, you can't move not a single step. The persona says he is left to sing alone a song because people think he is unsociable so they leave him out of the group.
In stanza 3, it tells us of the ways these autistic people express their feelings. It is a stated fact in life that when you loose something, you gain something else. In this poem it tells us that the persona is talented in drawing and through his drawings will you experience his inner thoughts. Autistic people are mostly gifted in either music, art and so on. They do not have the ability to express inner thoughts but they have something else instead. Because they cannot use words to express, therefore they use music and art to express it. Amazing right. ^^
Stanza 4, I am not stating that these autistic children are devilish and only know how to be jealous of others. I am stating the feelings they have sometimes towards others. They are jealous of the other normals kids that are able to laugh, cry, show anger. They are jealous because they can't express it well. They want to but can't. They only wish to be understood by other people. But it is a fact that sometimes we think we understand an autistic person but in actual fact you don't.
Finally, the persona says that he and his fellow autistic people did not have any choice. They were brought into the world like that and there is nothing that can change that fact.
Autism (say: aw-tih-zum) causes kids to experience the world differently from the way most other kids do. It's hard for kids with autism to talk with other people and express themselves using words. Kids who have autism usually keep to themselves and many can't communicate without special help.
They also may react to what's going on around them in unusual ways. Normal sounds may really bother someone with autism — so much so that the person covers his or her ears. Being touched, even in a gentle way, may feel uncomfortable.
Kids with autism often can't make connections that other kids make easily. For example, when someone smiles, you know the smiling person is happy or being friendly. But a kid with autism may have trouble connecting that smile with the person's happy feelings.
A kid who has autism also has trouble linking words to their meanings. Imagine trying to understand what your mom is saying if you didn't know what her words really mean. It is doubly frustrating then if a kid can't come up with the right words to express his or her own thoughts.
Autism causes kids to act in unusual ways. They might flap their hands, say certain words over and over, have temper tantrums, or play only with one particular toy. Most kids with autism don't like changes in routines. They like to stay on a schedule that is always the same. They also may insist that their toys or other objects be arranged a certain way and get upset if these items are moved or disturbed.
If someone has autism, his or her brain has trouble with an important job: making sense of the world. Every day, your brain interprets the sights, sounds, smells, and other sensations that you experience. If your brain couldn't help you understand these things, you would have trouble functioning, talking, going to school, and doing other everyday stuff. Kids can be mildly affected by autism, so that they only have a little trouble in life, or they can be very affected, so that they need a lot of help.
But, a person is still a person, no matter how insignificant or how different he can be, he has feelings. We as normal people shouldn't be cold to them but instead welcome them with warm arms. We get frustrated when we are not understood so imagine their pain.
( Please already read the poem Daring Tears by Craig Romkema )
:+: Su Mei :+:
